I have recently realized that few things in life really cause me to be scared. I mean, I am scared to DEATH of sharks, but that doesn't seem to be so much of a problem since I moved from my native Florida to Central VA. I'm a nervous flier but really only if there is turbulence, in which case the person simultaneously praying and blurting out "oh SH*T" is me. Besides that I'm not really scared of too much.
Oh yeah, except for FAILURE! (which terrifies me beyond comparison!!)
I have been told that it is common for people who are afraid of failure to also fear flying. Something about needing to feel in control and not liking the vulnerability of surrendering that control when flying...maybe...but I am pretty sure its the 30,000 feet of falling I fear. Anyhow, my point here is that failing really does scare me...ALOT! So much, I have realized, that it often keeps me from setting any concrete goals, or saying too many of the goals I do set out loud, for fear that I won't achieve them.
Well I am done with that! So what if I fail. So what if I try and fall FLAT on my face for the world to see. At least I tried. The panic is setting in as I type, but I am tired of letting fear slow me down. I have resolved that for me the next best thing to trying and winning is trying and losing.
See, I've realized (the closer and closer I get to thirty) that most people don't try. They settle into safe comfortable lives and learn how to do it so well they can do it with their eyes closed. Well not me. I want life to be scary and hard because that means I am trying and growing and stretching. When life gets easy I want to add more to the plate. And when inevitably I fail or fall short I want to wear it like a badge. It means I tried, I risked something, and that's a powerful thing.
If you are a control freak like me I realize that right about now you want to click off this blog and never return. DON'T! Because I need you to read this. I am about to list five things I want to be successful in doing this year. This is big. I am gonna put five things out there for all my friends, family, and the whole blogging world to see. I may succeed or I may TOTALLY fail. Win or lose I will be changed, challenged, stretched, and bettered by admitting my dreams and goals and going after them. Here it goes...
1) I want to go to India with Brentwood Church this Aug.
2) I want to have fifty people who follow my blog. (please, feel free to help me achieve this one...)
3) I want to train for and run in "Run for their lives" May 7.
4) I want to plan three weddings or events this year for complete and total strangers
5) I want to read 30 books between now and my 29th birthday. (Dec. 31 2011)
Ok, dont leave me out here by myself. Leave me a comment with a goal you have.
Make it a big one...one that scares you a little bit to say out loud. Put it out there for the world to see and stare that fear right in it's ugly eyeball.
“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”
Day one of living fearless,
Always living A.S.A.P
(As Southern As Possible)